Over the course of my life I discovered numerous factors that I would consider to exert a destabilization pressure on my overall well being. To be truthful, no one single item listed directly leads to a manic or depressed state, a combination of these items can certainly increase the risk of an bipolar episode.I really value my mental and emotional stability and I see nothing wrong with stacking the deck of my life in favor of maintaining sanity.So here is a list of things I personally try to avoid in order to remain emotionally and mentally stable.

1. Weather

The ambient weather absolutely effects my moods. I lived for twenty years in New England. The weather there makes me depressed. For years September or October were the start of a months long depressive states. The fall and winter is too grey, too dark, too cold and too sad for me. To this day I do not particularly care for snow. In order to eliminate the winter as a risk factor I choose not to live in New England.

I also lived in the Sacramento Valley in California for six years. Initially it was the perfect remedy for New England. The year I moved there it did not rain for 186 days straight. I was in paradise. Overtime, over years actually, I realized that the months of desert heat and the absolute lack of weather was subtly effecting me too. The heat of the summer was too much for my brain.The heat made me irritable, manic, dazed, and aggressive.

So I now live in the coastal Bay Area of San Francisco and I love it here. The weather does not usually maintain any extreme for long it is always changing. It can get hot but it does not last long. It rains and can get cold and grey and SF is known for its bay fog but it does not last. The average temperature is pretty much perfect, not too hot, not too cold and there is almost always a breeze blowing. This kind of weather is really soothing to the soul.

2. Avoid extremes.

Neither sleep too much or sleep too little. Doing either is inviting depression.

Do not eat too much or too little. Do not eat the same kinds of food over and over for days on end.

Do not stay still for long. Try to inject physical activity into your life as much as you can. Do not vegetate or sit on your ass longer than you have to. This is especially for the corporate cubicle dwellers. You sit in your car to drive to work to sit at your desk for 8 hours then sit in your car to drive home and then sit on your ass for dinner then sit on the couch for TV before bed. Some people can handle this. I can not.

The only time I want to really sit still for extended periods is when I am practicing seated meditation. Then I can sit motionless for days if I want. It not just a few days though for corporate people. It is a lifestyle choice that some live for months, years and decades. It is not good for you. Listen to your body. I practice tai chi and yoga every single day. That kind of integrated movement training is very benefical to your body and helps you feel good inside. These days I spend a lot more time sitting in front of a pc and working on projects like this blog. I try to take movement breaks every few hours.

3. Music

It took me years to figure this out. I listened to music for two primary reasons. Either to change my mood or to augment or enhance my current mood. What this means is that if you are a little bummed, do not start listening to depressive music. This is the curse of high school kids incidently . When you feel high you listen to power music. When you are angry at the world you listen to rage music. I used to shut myself in my room, black out all light and listen to dark music for hours and hours when I was depressed. It never helped. In retrospect listening to dark music I would dwell on my misery and it never had any positive therapeutic effect. Listening to dark music can lead you deeper into depression.

It was not until I had seriously begun meditating in silence and stillness for hours on end when I apprehended the connection between music and mood. If you are emotionally balanced. listen to whatever you want. These days, I can listen to rage music or depressed music but I do not like to and I generally avoid it. I sense the music’s potential I can feel the sounds of the music inside me and I just don’t like that music anymore. I don’t want to move into a manic or depressed state and that kind of music facilitates mood changes.

4. Lighting

Avoid lighting too much or too little. Do not live in darkness for overlong and do not live in overly lit or brightly lit places. This is for your personal living situation. You want the ambient lighting to comfort you and make you feel safe. For me that means I can not live with powerful or artificial overhead lighting. It negatively impacts my mood over time especially flourescent lighting which hurts my brain. I prefer soft area affect lighting or natural lighting. Do not allow yourself to live in a place where the apartment can not get any sun. The sunlight makes me feel good and hopeful. I can not dwell in a place for long that is cutoff from daily exposure to sunlight. Nor do I live in total darkness. I will never blackout my entire apartment again. It is unhealthy and invites depression. I keep my work area well lit and my sleeping area darkish. This seems to work best.

Another word about the sun. I said the sun makes me feel good and hopeful but there are times when the sun can be too much for me. I have blue eyes and I am of celtic ancestry. The sunlight I like best comes slanted or partially filtered, like sun on a partly cloudy day. Sunlight filtered through trees, indirect sunlight off of water in windows or buildings is all good. Sunrise and sunset is ok too. I prefer not expose myself to bright overhead summer sun. It fries my brain and hurts my eyes. It makes me irritable and manic and interferes with clear thinking. If I go out at noon with high overhead sun on a clear day I wear a hat and long sleeves and slide into shade whenever possible.

5. Clutter and chaos.

I do not allow my living space to become messy, overly cluttered or disorganized for long. I can not stand it. Although I am not a white glove neat freak, I have to have spacial cleanliness, sanitation and organization in my home. If I enter a home with clothes and trash all over the floor or an unsanitary kitchen or bathroom I will most likely leave. It corrodes my sanity rapidly and disgusts me. I can not control how other people make their nest but I don’t have to be in one that makes me feel unsafe or uncomfortable. I have on occasion lived with roommates that had no sense of personal space cleanliness and it is very stressful.

6. People

People cause stress no doubt about it. People suffer stress and malfunction. My point of view comes from the desire to remain mentally stable at any cost. The need to be stable trumps all other issues always. As such there is an extensive list of people and kinds of people I will generally avoid or minimize my interactions with.

After spending a couple of years institutionalized I have become highly sensitized to mental illness, emotional disturbance and neurotic behavior in others. As such I avoid deliberately interacting in person with people that trigger my mental illness radar.

When people are psychologically disturbed they effect the air around them much the same way an incredibly happy and positive person can brighten a room and attract people to them. A severely depressed, psychotic, manic or schizophrenic person can corrupt their immediate vicinity. Angry people sometimes verbally, emotionally or physically attack people near them, schizophrenics live in their own reality, depressed people can bring others down, manic people can make other people feel unsafe and stressed. Psychotic people can cause outright fear and panic in other people.People with sexual abuse, impulse or boundry issues can be incredibly seductive to certain kinds of people. These people live in their own universe and that internal universe is not well. Mentally disturbed people exert their own influence.

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Your personality has to be very strong, centered and integrated to withstand prolonged exposure to mentally disturbed people. I have seen this phenomena in mental institutions and group home were staff members and counselors were overtly handling the situation but subtly corrupted by the environment. I have witnessed staff losing it in institutions, I have personally been abused by staff and seen far worse abuse perpetrated on other kids. Working with mentally ill persons is very psychically stressful. People burn out from working in the mental health field and people working with mental patients or emotionally challenged persons are not themselves immune to mental and emotional problems.

This means that when forming new relationships with other I have walked away and discontinued contact with people I initially found attractive or interesting because they pinged my mental health radar slightly

This is also means I do not associate with anyone in my family that is mentally ill and there are quite a few of them in mine. I literally live on the other side of the continent from them.

I am under no obligation to create relationships with poorly functioning people or to try to save them or therapy them. I have to look out for my own mental and emotional health first.

The only time I work directly with a mentally or emotionally damaged person is if they are not in immediate crisis and they are able to control their behavior, respect boundries and seriously desire above all else to learn the spiritual meditation I use to heal depression, manage mania and rid myself of stress.

I lived for 12 years with a mentally ill mother and 13 years with an emotionally challenged step father and mentally ill siblings. Then I spent a 90 days in psych hospital with about 20-30 severely disturbed kids. Then I spent almost six months living with 30-40 mildly to severely dysfunctional kids and staff. Then I spent a about 18 months living with three other disturbed children in a foster home with disturbed foster parents. Then I spent another 21 days in a psych hospital with 10-20 disturbed kids. Then I lived in a group home for emotionally challenged teens with about 40 kids and a few mildly disturbed staff for 11 months. Then I lived in a adult transitional home until I turned 18 and lived with 6 mildly troubled but mostly functional near adult teens.

It was not until my mid twenties after living alone for years when it really dawned on me how much living in close proximity with mentally and emotionally dysfunctional people for so long had subtly or overtly impacted my own mental health and personality.

Forgive me but I have had quite enough.

7. Nature

Do not spend too much time away from nature and the outdoors. It is unhealthy to be inside all the time. I try to visit the ocean and the woods whenever I can. Being near the ocean and just sitting near it for hours at a time relaxes, replenishes and strengthens my soul. The same effect happens when I can get into a dense wood with old trees. Visiting both of those places and meditating while near them is very stabilizing.

8. Don’t ignore your intuition or your feelings.

This is a little general but basically you tune into yourself you stay present and then when you experience things you have a clear channel from your senses to your mind and feelings. If you really want to be mentally and emotionally well you need to take your feelings seriously. If you meet someone and you don’t feel they are well, stay away from them. If people in your life become mentally disturbed, stay away from them. If a particular diet or exercise does not feel quite right, stop. You have to tune into the many ways we allow self harm to come upon us through failure to understand the harmful nature of the event. If your gut tells you that something is bad for you listen to it. This may mean quitting or avoiding a certain type of employment. One of the most insidious destructive forces inside us is the feeling of failure to be true to ourselves or self betrayal. If you are in a situation where you are forced to do things you yourself would not do of your own volition, leave.